KEITH "F*CKING" DECRISTO
...graduated summa cum laude from the University Of Hard Knocks, where he obtained a double masters in drunken string theory and contemporary American literature written by alcoholics and substance-abusers. It was during these formidable years that he developed an unhealthy obsession with cinematography, a profession that continues to ruin his life to this very day.
Keith utilizes the most modern techniques in self-flagellation and other destructive motivational tools in order to create something that resembles art, so that he may justify his existence, feed his tortured soul, and distract himself from the “eternal shadow of the spotted mind”.
When not on set, he moonlights as a quality-assurance tester for fine Kentucky bourbons, waxes Bukowski, and questions authority with unparalleled exuberance.
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